Absurd America–We’ve Reached That Point, Folks

We have reached that point, folks. The point we all feared we’d reach eventually. The point where we’re afraid to speak, write or even watch certain tv shows. More importantly, we’re afraid to expose our children to the idea that people do and say things differently than we do in our own homes. We’re reached the absurd.

We are removing their ability to process information that may surprise them or challenge their beliefs. We’re not allowed to question or reason anymore. Only to accept and move on without comment.

Comments are dangerous things. Regardless of your intentions or meaning, those comments are at constant risk of being seen as “Microaggressions.” A perceived slight, intended or not, towards someone’s gender or race, political mantra, or family tradition. Of course, those microaggressions are subjective, and innocent comments can be labeled as hate speech in the blink of an eye. Watch what you say, or better yet, say nothing at all.

It’s not just speech. Watch what you pack in your bagged lunch, too.
Imagine your BLT sandwich sitting in the office fridge, topped with some mayo, and paired with a bag of your favorite chips. Sounds like a delicious mid-day treat, right? Well, it’s offensive to certain religious groups. How dare you choose to eat as you please? Did you pack that without regard to the devout religious practices of your neighbors? Savage! Inconsiderate swine! That’ll cost you your job!

Think I’m joking? Sadly this isn’t just hyperbole. Pork products are actually being banned from the workplace. Just ask Lina Morales. She worked for a telecommunication company in Orlando, Florida back in 2004. She was fired for the insensitive, morally reprehensible, and disgusting act of eating a BLT for lunch. Can you imagine? The gall!
Nevermind the fact that a BLT is an American staple. There are other people’s views to consider. Clearly, her rights as an American should be limited by the rights of someone who might be offended by her views, beliefs, or choice of sandwiches, right?

We also must now avoid all pronouns. No longer are we free to use context clues, apparel, appearance, or deductive reasoning to determine the correct and proper language choice in our day-to-day conversations. Just because the person in front of you is in a dress, wearing makeup, and has long hair doesn’t mean you can use the pronoun “She.” That’s assuming gender. It’s insensitive and mean-spirited. Ignorant, even. Better watch it, you can be fired for such blatant microaggressions! If that person identifies as a potato, you’re required to pretend as well, otherwise, your job is on the line.

Speaking of potatoes, Mr. Potatohead will no longer be tolerated on school grounds. It’s a blatant violation of school policy regarding gender roles and gender neutrality. Hasbro has created an alternative, more inclusive, gender-neutral toy. The only acceptable version of the toy allowed on school property is “Potato Head.” You see, dropping the “Mr” erases its focus on the male gender and gender norms. We can’t have children grow up with any sort of predisposed notion of how to act based on gender. That method of child development has existed since the beginning of time, and although it is supported by the differentiating sexual characteristics displayed between males and females, it is clearly not acceptable today. We no longer tolerate the idea of gender, regardless of the science they teach in the next classroom.

We also do not tolerate Dr. Seuss. Be gone with your Green Eggs and Ham, no more Cat in the Hat, certainly no Lorax,  and don’t even think of watching the Grinch this Christmas. They’re all part of the book ban. Yes, a book ban. No, this isn’t Nazi Germany, just the good old United States of America. From JD Salinger to Mark Twain to Theodore Giesel, you better watch what you read. Some of that stuff is offensive, subversive, racist, insensitive, and damaging to young minds.

The reality of the situation is that banning things like Dr. Seuss and the Muppet Show does nothing to help our children understand that the world is full of differences we all must learn to tolerate, if not appreciate. Americans are being told to adjust their lives to accommodate the sensitivities of a small minority in the name of gender equality, political correctness, religious tolerance, or any other buzzword they invent to add one more tiny restriction to the list of socially acceptable behaviors. The more rules there are, the more likely you are to break them.
The more you break the rules, the more cancel culture can proliferate.

So it goes, as our freedoms to live a normal life are whittled away, one splinter at a time, in the name of whatever crusade is being championed, and we find ourselves less and less American every day.

History is being erased, books are being banned, toys are being rebranded as gender-neutral, and pointing out the absurdity is crass and unsophisticated. Free speech is now hate-speech and microaggressions, Lunch is a religious insult, and the act of speaking can be insulting and insensitive depending on the pronoun you choose in relation to the subject’s personal identification.

Ah, America. Land of the Free, home of the homogenized.

Political correctness has spawned insanity, and we’re along for the ride. The tracks are laid on top of our freedoms and the brakes don’t work so you’d better buckle up.