An estimated 11.23 hard-working Americans owe IRS back taxes totaling well over $125 billion smackeroos. Tightened purse strings are only making the unpaid bill ridiculously harder to pay, as both figures grow. In related news, the IRS is in the process of hiring special agents who according to them will “carry firearms” and “use deadly force when required on possible dangerous assignments.” Say what???
Calm down and don’t catch the next flight to Bolivia just yet. Read this first. The IRS will still threaten to destroy your life over that $300 open tab but guaranteed, they won’t be coming for you with guns-a-blazing.
The pistol-packing agents will serve in a special division of the IRS Criminal Investigation Department. The purpose of the newly formed “law enforcement branch” is to combine “accounting skills with law enforcement skills to investigate financial crimes.” The new agents will be required to:
- Maintain “honesty and integrity,”
- Work at least 50 hours each week, including irregular hours,
- Be on-call 24/7, including holidays and weekends,
- Maintain physical readiness to “effectively respond to life-threatening situations on the job,”
- Carry a gun and “be willing to use deadly force, if necessary, and
- Participate in arrests, execution of search warrants, and other “dangerous assignments.”
The pay isn’t half bad. Depending on experience salaries will range between $50,704 and $89,636 annually, with a prestigious benefits package. The salaries will be offset by the cool $80 billion the IRS just received in funding.
The IRS isn’t assembling a small ragtag team of hardened mercenaries to carry out darkened missions. No sir. Go big or go home. They’re building an 87,000-member strong brigade to carry out urban guerrilla warfare.
For what it’s worth, according to the Biden administration, unless you’re pulling in over 400K a year, neither you nor your family will be assaulted in the dead of night. But these are only words considering how an amendment that would have exempted those making less than 400K, failed in the Senate with a 50-50 vote.
For certain though, if you are making the big bucks, you absolutely, unequivocally, without question, will be audited. It’s included in the budget package and they’ll have plenty of manpower to goose-step forward.
If this describes you, now is when you might want to consider that South American flight. Even if it wasn’t intentional, you already know they’re gonna find something amiss and dispatch the thugs to your home or place of business. You might like Acapulco if you’ve never been. Take your money with you…
Every last Democrat voted against having financial limits placed on who they could investigate. On the other hand, Republicans fought like hell to protect “low- and middle-income earning American taxpayers from an onslaught of audits from an army of new Internal Revenue Service auditors funded by an unprecedented, nearly $80.000.000.000, infusion of new funds.”
Republicans lost the vote but it was close enough for Biden to at least say he would honor their wishes. Now, if we could all just believe what neither he nor his administration would put in writing.
The IRS hasn’t commented yet on the color of the boots they’ll be issuing to their new 87,000 soldiers, but all bets point to brown.